Did I say I loved the noise in the house?

Did I just say I loved the noise in the house?

Well my neighbors weren't in the same page with me.  We got scolded today.  Told off and told to keep the noise level down so people can sleep.

Happy people right?  Nah, just happy islanders.  The usual cheers of laughter cracking up our lungs.

We do really need to be located in some isolated island where no one will hear us.  Where we can burst our bronchitis or whatever those things are in our lungs.  Every hour in the house is noise-related.

But hey, we have good music too.  Good music cannot be called noise.  Ok maybe,  if everyone else in the house is humming along sounding like fierce roars of a group of wild lions attacking their prey.

Oh well.  Islanders.  More like crazy islanders.

What's new? It's the same everywhere and anywhere you find islanders grouping together.

Hand in hand we move quietly.  Moving in slow motion and silent rhythms.  Slow beats at very low volumes.

NOT.

We love you neighbors.  And we love ourselves too.

Love, Ny.

Family Loves

I woke up feeling so grateful today.

I'm grateful for family.  For sisters.  For friends.

I love the loud laughter all around the house.  The jokes.  Sometimes they're too funny one laughs until they can't laugh anymore.  The whole house just shakes with very loud noise.

You never know how situations will turn around.  One will be sharing her heart out, and someone just puts humor into it, totally turning it around and making everyone just  crack up again.

I love the happy times.  At times they're too good you just wanna cuddle each other.  Give each one a hard, tight squeeze and trying your best not to break each other's bones.

Thank God for the love.  Thank God for the food.  For the plans.  Thank God for blessings uncountable.  Thank God for good music.  Thank God for good company.  So special.  So unique.  So lively.  So heartfelt.  So uplifting and enriching the soul.  Aimless times lead to new ideas of more togetherness.  Everything just leads to more and more good times.  The Adventure never ends.

I'm grateful.  Very grateful.  God is good.  All the time.

Our summer vacation will be a fun and safe vacation of just family loves all around.

God is Emmanuel.

Love, Ny.

The Power of Vision (The Word for Today)

Today's reading from The Word for Today gives me so much motivation.

Having a vision for your life gives you four things:

(1) Passion

     - It makes you wake up in the morning and bound out of bed because there's something out there you love to do; something you believe in and are good at; something bigger than you; something you can hardly wait to get at.

(2) Motivation

     - Author Richard B. Edler said:  'Safe living generally makes for regrets later on.  We are all given talents and dreams.  Sometimes the two don't march.  But more often than not we compromise both before ever finding out.  Later on, we find ourselves looking back longingly to that time when we should've chased our true dreams and talents for all they're worth.   Don't be pressured into thinking your dreams or talents aren't prudent.  They were never meant to be...They were meant to bring joy and fulfilment to your life.'

(3) Direction

     - Vision simplifies decision-making.  Anything that moves you closer to your vision gets a green light; everything else should be approached with caution.  Vision brings what's important to the surface, and weeds out anything that stands in your way.  Without vision, good things will keep you from achieving great things.  People without a clear vision are easily distracted.  They've a tendency to drift aimlessly from one thing to another.  They've no spiritual, relational, financial or moral compass.  Consequently, they make decisions that rob them of their dreams.

(4) Purpose

     - Having vision is like getting a sneak preview of things to come.  It says, 'If you don't show up, something important won't happen.  Your life matters.  Without you, what could be - won't be.

Love this so much, Ny.

My Quiet.

The Quiet.

Where all thoughts find their wings.  Where dreams are birthed.  Where all worries fade.  Where love is renewed.  Where passion grows.  Where ideas have their roots.  Where the quiet is found.

My Quiet.

I love waking up in the mornings at 4am to read my Bible and pray.  I love the way my heart is open and vulnerable and soft and I pray my strength upward to the Highest of all powers.  I love the passion that is felt in these silent moments.  My desires become so tangible I can actually feel them.  My plans grow form.  They pick and prick at me.  My visions.  They become my companions.  My constant guides.  My ever-faithful encouragers.

I find solid rock.  I find security.  I find steadiness.  I am empowered.  Strengthened.  I am my own person.

God is with me.  I am loved.  I am valued.  I am fed.  I am sheltered.  The foundation for my days are secured.

I love the 5 ams readings.  I love doing research when everything is fresh.  When my side of the earth is preparing all its inhabitants for the new day.  I love being up early.  I love completing tasks before the world around me starts to buzz.

I love gazing into nothingness.  The nothingness that has so much in store for me.  I love the invisible around me that holds so much energy from the universe.  I love believing that the universe is behind me.  Behind my every move.  That what I want it will move to get it for me.  That it will make it possible.  I have the time, the energy and capacity in me to believe in so much.

The quiet is God's quiet with mine.

In the quiet.  Anything is possible.

I love my quiet.

Love, Ny.

Ask Me

Ask me.  Please do.  Just ask me.  Ask me about anything.

Ask me what I want to do.  Ask me where I want to go.  Ask me about my desires.  My goals for now and for the future.  Ask me about the things that really give me joy.  Ask me about my fears.  The things that shake me to the core.

I don't mind if you tear me open and ask me why.  Why I am where I am.  Why I did what I did.  Why my own personal best insanely drives me every single day.  Why I'm too passionate about my passions.

Ask me why I don't care about things I used to care about.  Ask me why I've changed so much.  Ask me why I came out of my cave.  Why I'm not that silent anymore.  Why I roar like a lion when I should be a graceful lady.

Ask me why I live out my days in the quiet.  Ask me why I love my lab so much.  Ask me why I'm not already married at this age.  Ask me why my choices in life are what they are.

Don't hold back.  Please just ask me.  Ask me about anything.

ASK. ME.

Love, Ny.

Perfectionist?

I used to be one. 

I believed i have improved alot in that area.  But my behavior is saying otherwise.

I get bogged down when things don't go as planned.  I worry when I know I'm running out of money. 

I get moody when I don't get to be by myself for at least 5-7 hrs a day.  When my me-time is ruined.  When my quality time is being cut short.  When people are just purely inconsiderate and I prefer to do my work rather than have company.  When I have pressing work matters and yet have to take time out of the lab.  When peeps just don't understand and I think they should.

I wanna be be able to choose the time when I want company or not.

I don't like dirty surroundings.  I specifically don't like it when others make MY surroundings dirty and don't take responsibility for it.

I don't like it that I can't say stuff when I want to.  When I think things are out of my control and I can't say anything about it.

I just don't like it when I am just generally not happy with stuff.

Perfectionist?

I'm still deciding on that.

Maybe in another post.

So on to the next one now.

Love, Ny.

Needy Talking Me

I just wanna talk.

Lately it's just been like that.

I had wanted to live in the moment.  I had wanted to feel everything around and inside of me.  I had wanted to be able to look back and say I fully lived out every one of my waking minutes.  Now the moments are just too many for me. 

I can't lose touch of my thoughts.  Even for just a minute.  I am conscious of every single one of them.  They are here with me, here to stay and not letting me go anytime soon.

And how do I know this is what's happening to me?

Because I want to talk to someone every chance I'm not doing school work.  I want to tell anyone and everyone about my day. What I did.  What I am doing.  What I will do.  What I'm liking about everything that I'm talking about.  What I don't like.  What I think about my work.  Who I'm with.  Who I will be with.  What we'll be doing.  What my plans are for the next day, week, month or year.

Then I'd wanna talk about what I talked about.  All the Whys, Wheres, How, What and Who.  Just going crazy with even the tiniest details about everything.  Just needing to let everything out of my system.  The good, the bad, the highs, the lows, the ones in between, the blacks, the whites, the coloured.  Even the camouflaged ones.  Stuff that are not seen.  Invisible stuff that I should just ignore.  Everything just needs to go out of this mind, body and soul of mine.  And fast too.  They need to go out as soon as they appear in my conscious.

And then when I realise I'm talking too much, then I wanna tell someone that I am not desperate. That I am not needy.  I wanna justify my words, my actions, my behavior.

What I didn't realise until now was that people can't be there 24/7.  You can't find someone there every single time you need them or anyone for that matter.

That's not the case with me though.  Once someone is there to talk, I have this tendency to just keep them with me till they can't stand me anymore.

I have this online-apps-crazy problem of always needing to check on someone.  To just start a convo with anyone.  I have to save myself of this by deleting certain apps from my phone.

I am still working on this crazy-weird behaviour in me.

So let me publish this post and move on to my next one.  That's the plan.  Every time I wanna click on a contact on Line to start another convo, I'll come here, create a new post and write.

I am determined.  I will conquer this.  I always do.  With time.  Of course.

Love, Ny.