Growing up. What it means to me.
Talk when you need to. Love with no strings attached. Understand without knowing. Give and not expect anything in return. Know when to confront. Know when to become angry.
Give compliments. Let people be. Give space. Give time. Respect. Lend a hand. Take time to listen. Be a blessing. Keep in touch with family and friends. Smile.
Get a hobby. Look for inspiration. Be positive. Think. Dream. Plan. List. Write. Hope.
Avoid idleness. Avoid boredom. Quit unhealthy habits.
Don't hold grudges. Don't expect too much. Don't live beyond your means. Don't worry too much.
Turn off the phone when need to. Sign out of social network sites. Avoid time-consuming websites.
Work without distractions. Complete work within record time. Stick to deadlines. Concentrate. Focus. Polish. Perfect.
Take time out. Rest. Relax. Meditate. Pray. Have quiet moments. Look and listen to nature. Count your blessings. Sing.
Be grateful. Learn to appreciate. Enjoy the journey.
Growing up. What it means to me.
Love, Ny.
Dis is where you find me. Me loves. Me likes. Me dislikes. Me plans. Me visions. Me thinks.... What Ny thinks, Ny visions.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Dealing.
I'm still dealing with getting over that phase. That period. That person. That someone that I like so much. That (fantasy) stage that I'm addicted to.
But how do I get over something/someone when I don't even know where I stand in it.
Oh God.
From being so loved to being so loathed, liked then rejected, appreciated then being lied to and avoided at all cost.
How do I deal? Should I move on? Or should I wait and see what happens?
It hurts. It does. It tags at my heart strings.
Everything I see around me reminds me of everything I shouldn't be reminded of.
I still remember everything so clearly. I still feel. I still think. I still like. Worst of all, I still love.
I was always wrong. In a lot of things. My genuine love became actions expressed by desperate moves. My intentions were good, they were the best (I believed so). But my expressions of them were the total opposite. I couldn't stop.
I went crazy at times. Obsessed with love. Obsessed with imaginary fantasies. Obsessed with dreams of the one I am (or was?) with. Obsessed with happiness. Obsessed with being loved. Obsessed with being obsessed. Just plain obsessed.
I went out of control. Went into desperate rage. I just went on and on without stopping until I was blocked of all means of communication. Then I stopped, organised myself, started to pick up the pieces and even though I still hurt, I tried to get moving in a new direction. Moving at a snail's pace, but at least I'm moving.
I'm still fighting. Still learning. Still growing in wisdom (I like to believe so :) )
And in all these, I find, that God is still good. All the time. He lifts me up out of the miry clay. He sets my feet on higher ground. He shows me His faithfulness, His goodness and His abundant grace. God is good. All the time. God is truly good. Has been. Always will be.
Love, Ny.
But how do I get over something/someone when I don't even know where I stand in it.
Oh God.
From being so loved to being so loathed, liked then rejected, appreciated then being lied to and avoided at all cost.
How do I deal? Should I move on? Or should I wait and see what happens?
It hurts. It does. It tags at my heart strings.
Everything I see around me reminds me of everything I shouldn't be reminded of.
I still remember everything so clearly. I still feel. I still think. I still like. Worst of all, I still love.
I was always wrong. In a lot of things. My genuine love became actions expressed by desperate moves. My intentions were good, they were the best (I believed so). But my expressions of them were the total opposite. I couldn't stop.
I went crazy at times. Obsessed with love. Obsessed with imaginary fantasies. Obsessed with dreams of the one I am (or was?) with. Obsessed with happiness. Obsessed with being loved. Obsessed with being obsessed. Just plain obsessed.
I went out of control. Went into desperate rage. I just went on and on without stopping until I was blocked of all means of communication. Then I stopped, organised myself, started to pick up the pieces and even though I still hurt, I tried to get moving in a new direction. Moving at a snail's pace, but at least I'm moving.
I'm still fighting. Still learning. Still growing in wisdom (I like to believe so :) )
And in all these, I find, that God is still good. All the time. He lifts me up out of the miry clay. He sets my feet on higher ground. He shows me His faithfulness, His goodness and His abundant grace. God is good. All the time. God is truly good. Has been. Always will be.
Love, Ny.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Don't go by your feelings.
Woke up feeling like I've just been in a dark pit somewhere unknown.
Word for Today devotional says 'don't go by your feelings'. And it's so true. I'm trusting God's hand that is at work in my life for today. The last day of thesis correction before putting it to print. The thesis that I dedicated to my late grandmother, Mami Olo, who passed on less than a year ago. I still miss her so much.
A small section from my 'Acknowledgements' says:
"My limitations and human frailties were exposed throughout this journey. I stumbled and fell, countless disappointments ensued and my love and confidence shattered time and again. In spite of all these circumstances the Lord remained faithful. He ushered me through all these difficulties and helped me to successfully complete this important phase of my life. Thank you Lord for your providence."
"My limitations and human frailties were exposed throughout this journey. I stumbled and fell, countless disappointments ensued and my love and confidence shattered time and again. In spite of all these circumstances the Lord remained faithful. He ushered me through all these difficulties and helped me to successfully complete this important phase of my life. Thank you Lord for your providence."
Going with the strength of the Lord today. Thoughts of every worthless thing can go dig yourselves a grave and rot.
.
Agua!!!!
Good morning from beautiful Pingtung.
Love, Ny.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Finding strength in God (and Monday morning rambling).
Still trying to get a hang on this writing thing. Been awhile since I've written a 18/20 narrative essay :). Yeah that was back in high school at KGVI, Solies. Please excuse my lack of good grammar, incoherence and lame sentence structure. Still trying to get back into the flow I used to have back in the days. So good luck to me.
A very good morning from the beautiful NPUST campus, Pingtung. It's sunny today, no signs of drizzles of any kind. The skies are a clear blue. But you can never tell sometimes how the weather will keep up throughout the day. Taiwan is just well known for its 4 season a day weather.
Final copies of my thesis are coming along and very much hoping everything will turn out okay so I could have them formally printed this week. Then we can move on to the next phase in this masters-to-phd transition plateau.
6 more weeks till classes begin. I am still enjoying the quietness and solace around the campus. The late nights hangouts here and there. Chilling like there's no tomorrow.
Okay I'm gonna stop here before I exaggerate about how I'm relaxing. Like hello Ny you have a paper to publish or else kick start your PhD project. And that's actually the reality. Very limited time for chilling even on a summer vacation. Gotta love graduate school.
Clock reads 8:35am and I'm still catching up on emails and messages from friends in the Solies. Miss home. But life is always where you are in the present. So jia you Ny.
Thinking and praying for my dear sister and very very very close and special friend S.B. in the Solies today.
We will always find strength in God when we draw close to Him.
Love, Ny.
A very good morning from the beautiful NPUST campus, Pingtung. It's sunny today, no signs of drizzles of any kind. The skies are a clear blue. But you can never tell sometimes how the weather will keep up throughout the day. Taiwan is just well known for its 4 season a day weather.
Final copies of my thesis are coming along and very much hoping everything will turn out okay so I could have them formally printed this week. Then we can move on to the next phase in this masters-to-phd transition plateau.
6 more weeks till classes begin. I am still enjoying the quietness and solace around the campus. The late nights hangouts here and there. Chilling like there's no tomorrow.
Okay I'm gonna stop here before I exaggerate about how I'm relaxing. Like hello Ny you have a paper to publish or else kick start your PhD project. And that's actually the reality. Very limited time for chilling even on a summer vacation. Gotta love graduate school.
Clock reads 8:35am and I'm still catching up on emails and messages from friends in the Solies. Miss home. But life is always where you are in the present. So jia you Ny.
Thinking and praying for my dear sister and very very very close and special friend S.B. in the Solies today.
We will always find strength in God when we draw close to Him.
Love, Ny.
Specific Phobia
I am beginning to figure out the specific fear that always fills my stomach up, gives me dizziness in the head, and causes my knees to tremble like I'm having malaria or some mosquito related illness like that.
The thing is, every time I had to go see my Advisor, I have this great fear that clutches the whole of me and seems to snap at me everywhere in the face. My appetite disappears and I get the feels of how it would be like when the world comes to an end and I stand between heaven and hell on Judgement Day.
I looked it up on the net and came up with 'specific phobias' that some people have. But I seem to be falling out of the definition.
That's when I realized that it's only when I haven't been on the right track with what I am expected to do that my body sends me all those warning signals telling me everything is going to go wrong unless I pick up my slothful lazy self, focus on the task at hand, break free of all that distracts me and freaken get down to real business for goodness sake.
Dayyymm girl!!!!!!
Specific phobia?
Yeah Right! The struggle is not even real. Epic. Fail. Shame. Duks! :) :)
Deadline is coming. I'm pulling up my socks. See you on the other side dear Thesis.
Love, Ny.
The thing is, every time I had to go see my Advisor, I have this great fear that clutches the whole of me and seems to snap at me everywhere in the face. My appetite disappears and I get the feels of how it would be like when the world comes to an end and I stand between heaven and hell on Judgement Day.
I looked it up on the net and came up with 'specific phobias' that some people have. But I seem to be falling out of the definition.
That's when I realized that it's only when I haven't been on the right track with what I am expected to do that my body sends me all those warning signals telling me everything is going to go wrong unless I pick up my slothful lazy self, focus on the task at hand, break free of all that distracts me and freaken get down to real business for goodness sake.
Dayyymm girl!!!!!!
Specific phobia?
Yeah Right! The struggle is not even real. Epic. Fail. Shame. Duks! :) :)
Deadline is coming. I'm pulling up my socks. See you on the other side dear Thesis.
Love, Ny.
I forget to breathe sometimes.
'You know I forget to breathe sometimes.
I'm so afraid to fall behind.
Why do I let the pressure take over my mind.
When I know the truth is never wrong.
I'm alright.
This is right where I belong.' - Tori Kelly (Luv dis girl :) )
DEEP.
The lyrics couldn't be any further from the truth. My truth. Pressures of all kinds flood my mind day and night. I could never keep up sometimes. I forget to slow down. I forget to take a breather. I forget to say a simple prayer. I forget about my self. And not just sometimes. Most of the time.
I live. Yes I do. But is weighing oneself down with unnecessary worries living at all?
People. Relationships. Friends. Family. Research. Writing. Labmates. Advisor. Money. Food. Plans. Plans. Plans. Future. Future Husband. Ok. There we go. Future Husband.
I'm done.
Love, Ny.
I'm so afraid to fall behind.
Why do I let the pressure take over my mind.
When I know the truth is never wrong.
I'm alright.
This is right where I belong.' - Tori Kelly (Luv dis girl :) )
DEEP.
The lyrics couldn't be any further from the truth. My truth. Pressures of all kinds flood my mind day and night. I could never keep up sometimes. I forget to slow down. I forget to take a breather. I forget to say a simple prayer. I forget about my self. And not just sometimes. Most of the time.
I live. Yes I do. But is weighing oneself down with unnecessary worries living at all?
People. Relationships. Friends. Family. Research. Writing. Labmates. Advisor. Money. Food. Plans. Plans. Plans. Future. Future Husband. Ok. There we go. Future Husband.
I'm done.
Love, Ny.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
My Amazing God
Yesterday was a blast.
A girls day out at Liangshan waterfall just a few 30 minutes from NPUST.
Standing there at the bottom of the falls water as it comes crashing down on me, I think of the greatness and faithfulness of God. I think of His ways and thoughts being higher than ours. I think of how He has brought me here, how gracious He is in everything and how He has marvelously blessed me in so many ways.
I have a truly amazing God.
I am reminded that it doesn't matter whatever chaos there is in our lives. When we have God there's always a peaceful place that we can run to.
A silvery scene of quietness in the midst of turmoil was what I was envisioning while floating above the beautiful waters with the sounds of rushing falls just a few meters away from my reach.
As excited as I was about the journey I am about to embark on, I am also scared for the tribulations that lie ahead of me as well as for my sanity. So God help me.
I am grateful and will always be for I believe God is the Author and the Finisher of His purpose and will for my life.
May His Name Be Praised!
Love, Ny.
A girls day out at Liangshan waterfall just a few 30 minutes from NPUST.
Standing there at the bottom of the falls water as it comes crashing down on me, I think of the greatness and faithfulness of God. I think of His ways and thoughts being higher than ours. I think of how He has brought me here, how gracious He is in everything and how He has marvelously blessed me in so many ways.
I have a truly amazing God.
I am reminded that it doesn't matter whatever chaos there is in our lives. When we have God there's always a peaceful place that we can run to.
A silvery scene of quietness in the midst of turmoil was what I was envisioning while floating above the beautiful waters with the sounds of rushing falls just a few meters away from my reach.
As excited as I was about the journey I am about to embark on, I am also scared for the tribulations that lie ahead of me as well as for my sanity. So God help me.
I am grateful and will always be for I believe God is the Author and the Finisher of His purpose and will for my life.
May His Name Be Praised!
Love, Ny.
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