My Quiet.

The Quiet.

Where all thoughts find their wings.  Where dreams are birthed.  Where all worries fade.  Where love is renewed.  Where passion grows.  Where ideas have their roots.  Where the quiet is found.

My Quiet.

I love waking up in the mornings at 4am to read my Bible and pray.  I love the way my heart is open and vulnerable and soft and I pray my strength upward to the Highest of all powers.  I love the passion that is felt in these silent moments.  My desires become so tangible I can actually feel them.  My plans grow form.  They pick and prick at me.  My visions.  They become my companions.  My constant guides.  My ever-faithful encouragers.

I find solid rock.  I find security.  I find steadiness.  I am empowered.  Strengthened.  I am my own person.

God is with me.  I am loved.  I am valued.  I am fed.  I am sheltered.  The foundation for my days are secured.

I love the 5 ams readings.  I love doing research when everything is fresh.  When my side of the earth is preparing all its inhabitants for the new day.  I love being up early.  I love completing tasks before the world around me starts to buzz.

I love gazing into nothingness.  The nothingness that has so much in store for me.  I love the invisible around me that holds so much energy from the universe.  I love believing that the universe is behind me.  Behind my every move.  That what I want it will move to get it for me.  That it will make it possible.  I have the time, the energy and capacity in me to believe in so much.

The quiet is God's quiet with mine.

In the quiet.  Anything is possible.

I love my quiet.

Love, Ny.

Ask Me

Ask me.  Please do.  Just ask me.  Ask me about anything.

Ask me what I want to do.  Ask me where I want to go.  Ask me about my desires.  My goals for now and for the future.  Ask me about the things that really give me joy.  Ask me about my fears.  The things that shake me to the core.

I don't mind if you tear me open and ask me why.  Why I am where I am.  Why I did what I did.  Why my own personal best insanely drives me every single day.  Why I'm too passionate about my passions.

Ask me why I don't care about things I used to care about.  Ask me why I've changed so much.  Ask me why I came out of my cave.  Why I'm not that silent anymore.  Why I roar like a lion when I should be a graceful lady.

Ask me why I live out my days in the quiet.  Ask me why I love my lab so much.  Ask me why I'm not already married at this age.  Ask me why my choices in life are what they are.

Don't hold back.  Please just ask me.  Ask me about anything.

ASK. ME.

Love, Ny.

Perfectionist?

I used to be one. 

I believed i have improved alot in that area.  But my behavior is saying otherwise.

I get bogged down when things don't go as planned.  I worry when I know I'm running out of money. 

I get moody when I don't get to be by myself for at least 5-7 hrs a day.  When my me-time is ruined.  When my quality time is being cut short.  When people are just purely inconsiderate and I prefer to do my work rather than have company.  When I have pressing work matters and yet have to take time out of the lab.  When peeps just don't understand and I think they should.

I wanna be be able to choose the time when I want company or not.

I don't like dirty surroundings.  I specifically don't like it when others make MY surroundings dirty and don't take responsibility for it.

I don't like it that I can't say stuff when I want to.  When I think things are out of my control and I can't say anything about it.

I just don't like it when I am just generally not happy with stuff.

Perfectionist?

I'm still deciding on that.

Maybe in another post.

So on to the next one now.

Love, Ny.