My Horrible Sin

I'm slowly and strongly feeling bad about the bad I did.  It wasn't just against a friend.  It was against a special friend.  A soul sister.  More like a soul mate kind of sister.

Took me more than 2 months to finally get to grasp the concept of being true to sisterly bonds.  I was always slow in learning about friendships, loyalty, genuineness and faithfulness.  In growing up.

I am still learning.  Humility needs to be the cloud over my head every single day.  I need to always be wearing it as my cap.

I'm slowly realising that it's wrong to turn your back against a special friend, push them aside and bring in someone new.  Especially when that someone new has been in your friend's history.  I'm starting to get the principles that lie within friendship boundaries.  Seeing the hurt in me, yet not putting my friend's hurt first.

My horrible sin.

I kept pushing through even though I knew it was wrong.  I kept trying to win even though all the universe was against me.  I pushed hard.  Harder than I have ever pushed.  Energy wasted.  Wasted in barrels.  Wasted time and money.  But I had learned.  So much.

Love is not earned.  It happens.  It can't be forced.  If it chooses to go, let it go.  It will come when it is the right time.  Patience.  Happiness.  Being content.  Being okay.  Being good.  Being kind.  Being happy whatever comes.  Always be optimistic about every situation.  Leave when it's time.  Let good things come on their own.  Love no matter what.  Learn.  Live.  Give.  Love.

I'm learning to take the good out of my horrible situation.  My horrible sin.

Love, Ny.

Accepting Rejection.

A quote from 'Funny Texts' page on FB that melted my heart this morning:

'So weird/sad walking past someone in the hallway acting as if you two are strangers when in reality you used to know them better than anyone.'

Just feeling like this is gonna be me in a few weeks when new semester starts.

It's gonna be weird and sad.

In the cafetaria.  7-11.  On the roads.  In the departments.  Around the campus.  Inside and outside the school.  Everywhere.

Holding my breath now.  Dreading the coming months.  Gonna face reality.  Face my fears.

Accepting rejection.  My toughest hurdle ever.  Gonna do it.

Rejection.  Deal with it.

Love, Ny.

PhD. My Story for Success.

I smell success on the horizon.  It's coming towards me.  I feel a tone of seriousness taking over me.  A feeling of determination. 

A prepared soldier going into war.  An armed warrior fully equipped.

I feel strength gathering inside me.  Bones, muscles and nerves getting the whole system ready for battle.   I'm taking over everything in my way.  Going to swiftly conquer all obstacles in my path.  Victories are mine to gain.  Failures be my stepping stones as I publish and keep publishing my finished work till I'm done.

I'm stepping up my game and loving this journey already.

If God before me, who can be against me?

Bring on the next 3 years.  PhD.  My story for success.

For in God I trust.

Love, Ny.