My Horrible Sin

I'm slowly and strongly feeling bad about the bad I did.  It wasn't just against a friend.  It was against a special friend.  A soul sister.  More like a soul mate kind of sister.

Took me more than 2 months to finally get to grasp the concept of being true to sisterly bonds.  I was always slow in learning about friendships, loyalty, genuineness and faithfulness.  In growing up.

I am still learning.  Humility needs to be the cloud over my head every single day.  I need to always be wearing it as my cap.

I'm slowly realising that it's wrong to turn your back against a special friend, push them aside and bring in someone new.  Especially when that someone new has been in your friend's history.  I'm starting to get the principles that lie within friendship boundaries.  Seeing the hurt in me, yet not putting my friend's hurt first.

My horrible sin.

I kept pushing through even though I knew it was wrong.  I kept trying to win even though all the universe was against me.  I pushed hard.  Harder than I have ever pushed.  Energy wasted.  Wasted in barrels.  Wasted time and money.  But I had learned.  So much.

Love is not earned.  It happens.  It can't be forced.  If it chooses to go, let it go.  It will come when it is the right time.  Patience.  Happiness.  Being content.  Being okay.  Being good.  Being kind.  Being happy whatever comes.  Always be optimistic about every situation.  Leave when it's time.  Let good things come on their own.  Love no matter what.  Learn.  Live.  Give.  Love.

I'm learning to take the good out of my horrible situation.  My horrible sin.

Love, Ny.